Old mails and saucerful of secrets

Reading old mails can mean asking for trouble. And yet, you can't stop yourself once the urge seizes you. Its like looking at old photographs but only more vivid- at least to me they are. I first started out with a Hotmail account. I guess most start out that way. It was such a long time ago that I've even forgotten what my username was. I think beqster or something equally corny. My next mail server was Yahoo, at about the time that a computer came to our house to stay. It was the same time that I actually started mailing in earnest. Lots of mindless forwards, endless spams which seem to get a life of their own- no matter how much you blocked or reported them. I was still in high school. Hormone surges were high- and they took off for the stratosphere everytime a girl mailed.
Yes yes, us poor sods came from a crummy boys only school. It was also around the same time that I was hooked to Delta Force and read novels in the middle of exams and did horribly at math. But e mails got more important as time wore on...if only to send crummy online birthday cards to women one had crushes on (though I never did that), or silly poems to 'cool' friends who seemed to be the only critics that mattered.
But Yahoo I'll forever associate with the first proper wooing that I've ever done. My ex-girlfriend was won with the help of cyberspace and make no mistake! This was at the end of second year of college and boy did those mails matter! I remember waiting with baited breath at the end of the day when the final mail from my amour would indicate how successful the day's coyness had been. Ah, the innocence of it all. Like a warm glowing picture in the mind. But in reality those were difficult days; as fraught with tension, anxiety and frustration as any meaningful human experience. It was also around then that love made me start to be punctual- well, almost.
And so the years passed. I discovered Rediffmal in all this as it yielded a faster flow of mails and somehow worked better despite all these surreal connection problems I seemed to be having...Satyam one week, VSNL the next and then "Damn! Why isn't fucking Caltiger working just when I'm supposed to be on the Messenger talking to her???"
Those kind of problems.
Never believe Mick Jagger when he pouts "Tiiiiiiiiiiiime is on maiii saiiid" cause with time comes decline. I lost track of my Yahoo account somewhere along the way and lost a lot of important mails...I still rue their loss. All that remain are printouts of random mails from that era which pop out here and there....with priceless jokes on milking big breasted women dry...
I know I know. Its useless wthout the context. The devil is, after all, in the detail.
Anyways. The years passed and relationships ended, eras ended, friendships became tolerable irritability and that warm glow of sheer fun just slipped away into the ether somewhere...I'm sure its in a sealed glass jar somewhere in some corner of the Dream King's cupboard along with Toad's new car and Gerry's pet porcupine
A long long time ago and in a city far far away came the latest in a long succession of melancholy whores...
G mail. I remember being quite proud after I got the account. In the middle of another whirlwind love affair, me and she would sit side by side mailing each other!!! Ah, but some stories should not be told. Or perhaps told only in dreams.
Wonder what Lacan would make of blogs?